Grief often disrupts sleep through stress, sadness, intrusive thoughts, schedule changes, and nighttime awakenings. Gentle routines, regular wake times, daytime light and activity, and support from trusted people can help provide structure while the nervous system adjusts. If insomnia, depression, or safety concerns become severe or persistent, professional support is important.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
More of us than usual in a typical year have lost loved ones in the COVID-19 pandemic. As anyone who has ever grieved before knows, grief can seriously disrupt your sleep. And when you can\u2019t get the sleep you need to stay physically and emotionally well, the difficult feelings that accompany grief can become overwhelming.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So how does grief affect sleep\u2014and what can you do about it to ensure you’re able to be present to your grief while not being consumed by it? Here’s what you need to know. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Scientific literature reinforces how deeply grief alters both our physical biology and our mental processing during rest:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
While grief is natural, taking small, intentional actions can help quiet your nervous system and promote better rest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Grief specialist Kristi Hugstad offers these practical tips to support nighttime rest:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Santa Monica, Calif.-based grief therapist Sandra Jacoby Klein, LMFT and author of Heavenly Hurts: Surviving AIDS-Related Deaths and Losses<\/em>, points out that losses during events like the COVID-19 pandemic bring unique complications: isolation from support systems, inability to say goodbye in person, or financial instability.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Klein suggests these specialized steps for managing intrusive bedtime thoughts:<\/p>\n\n\n\n While acute grief usually begins to soften over time, everyone heals at their own pace. However, when sleep disruption and painful emotions remain severe without relief, extra clinical support may be necessary.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Seeking professional guidance is not a sign of failure\u2014it is an important step in caring for your physical and emotional well-being as you process profound loss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Let\u2019s make something clear: You don\u2019t \u201cget over,\u201d or \u201cmove on\u201d from, an important loss. The loss will change your life forever, so it\u2019s best to make sure you understand there is no stopwatch running on your particular experience. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Adjusting to the loss takes time\u2014sometimes a very long time\u2014as you move through the grief process<\/a> and eventually find a way to carry on. It takes effort to do that, and it can be tough when you sometimes may not even feel like moving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Losing someone dear means you need to find new ways to take care of yourself\u2014and sleep is one of the parts of everyday life that’s likely to require some focused effort.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The cause of a loved one\u2019s death can play a big role in the grief of those left behind. A suicide death<\/a>, for example, can be particularly traumatic for survivors, compounded by stigma that can make it hard to reach out to others for support.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Losing a spouse<\/a> is another big sleep disruptor. In fact, this particular loss may be the most likely to cause insomnia<\/a>. Studies by Rice University and Northwestern University have found that people who were recently widowed were two to three times more likely<\/a> to experience inflammation because of sleep disturbances. Inflammation has been tied to increased risk of cardiovascular and other negative physical effects.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Losing a parent is a rough experience for people of any age, though research shows younger children are more at risk for depression and other side effects after one of their parents has passed away. An estimated one in 20 children under age 15 will develop mental health issues<\/a> after losing a parent during their childhood years.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Grief manifests itself in all sorts of physical and emotional ways. Many report feeling new aches and pains or generally feeling tired and having less energy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAll of these symptoms,\u201d writes Carolyn Burke at SleepAdvisor.org<\/a>, \u201care not only partially caused by sleep deprivation, they also make getting to sleep even harder. It\u2019s a vicious cycle that leads to the most common effect of grief on sleep: insomnia.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Eleanor Haley, writing<\/a> for the What’s Your Grief blog, lists these reasons a griever may have a hard time sleeping after a death:<\/p>\n\n\n\n Grief manifests itself in all sorts of physical and emotional ways. Many report feeling new aches and pains or generally feeling tired and having less energy.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n Although grief typically begins to subside within the first six months after the trauma, people whose grief experiences don\u2019t seem to lessen are potentially at risk for what is called \u201ccomplicated grief<\/a>,\u201d \u201ctraumatic grief,\u201d or \u201cprolonged grief syndrome.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n An estimated 7-20% of those coping with a loss experience the additional challenges of grief that continue to be immediate and intense. People who’ve had a difficult time dealing with earlier losses in particular may require extra help<\/a> in coping with grief.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In short, grief and sleep loss can become locked in a vicious cycle where grief causes sleep problems and those sleep problems exacerbate the grief. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Kristi Hugstad, grief recovery specialist and host of \u201cThe Grief Girl,\u201d writes in HuffPost<\/em><\/a>, \u201cSleep is crucial for healing\u2014both emotionally and physically, and it\u2019s important to remember that grief can be as physically debilitating as it is emotionally.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Hugstad offers these tips for helping you get a good night\u2019s sleep if you’re grieving:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSleep is crucial for healing\u2014both emotionally and physically, and it\u2019s important to remember that grief can be as physically debilitating as it is emotionally.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n\n
When to seek help<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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How grief impacts sleep<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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How to sleep better when you’re grieving<\/h2>\n\n\n\n
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